Our immortal soul
Most people seem to worry about the Here-after; few people are losing any sleep over the Here-fore. Now, isn’t that just a wee bit weird; that fourteen billion years – give or take a couple of minutes – of death don’t concern us at all, simply because … it happened in the past!? ‘Oh, that!? Oh, that’s over and done with, mate! Just forget about it! Let bygones be bygones!’
Consequently, one would suppose that people feel quite comfortable as well about what happens next – about what will happen to their visitor from outer space(?), to their so-called immortal soul, after life. As our internal ET himself will in all probability be quite at ease with the prospect: Okay, everything back to normal – seen it, done it, got the T-shirt!
But, no, none of that. On the contrary, most people raise hell over heaven!
There are even people who don’t want to live their life to the fullest, because of the alleged(!) afterlife. Memento mori, they say. Which means as much as that for example(!) every boner that is not used properly (which is, for procreation only) could easily mean a one-way ticket straight to hell.
Okay, let me try to get this straight. A so-called immortal soul descends from … – yeah, what, from where? Okay, let us say, for argument’s sake, from – heaven and slips into a mortal body. Nobody seems to have a theory about how the hell those souls came into existence (at the Big Bang?) or how they were conceived. As it seems, they simply are being there.
The next question is: when? At what time exactly do they slip into our body?
Has it been at our conception or was it when we were born? Or do they say: ‘Hang on, hang on! Is that a viable skin we’ve got there, is that body actually worth our voyage, or is the motherfucker going to die on us as soon as we slip into it? Let’s wait for a couple of hours(?), days(?), weeks(?), months(?), years(?), and see what happens! We don’t want to waste an instant of our precious eternity, do we now; we don’t want to have to go back to (boring!) heaven before we have seen some action – before we have, let us say, wasted a perfectly good boner!’
Next question. Do they get to choose at all? Or are they finding out what they’ve gotten themselves into along the way?
‘Now, who in God’s(!) name gave me Billy bloody Graham!?’
By the same token, the poor soul has been slipped into the body of a porn-star – then it’s really f…, innit!?
‘Go straight to HELL! Do not (pass) COME! Do not collect $200!’
Sorry, immortal soul, that’s life for you! Next time pick your mortal body a bit more carefully, will you!
‘Hang on, hang on, hang on! Wait just a fucking minute! Did you actually say ‘next time’ just now!? So, death (or hell in my fucking case) is not eternal, then!?’
Depends! You’re a Buddhist by any chance? Just asking. Because, if you are a christian … well, you know, you’re pretty much f…, you see. They – christians, I mean – used to be very enthusiastic acolytes of reincarnation. However, they gave it up, for some reason or other. I guess, they did not enjoy life. Well, what can one do? Free will and all that shit, you know.
‘Come on, give me a break here! Cut me some slack, will ye! I was having so much fun in life, it’s heaven on earth over here. Is it my fault that I accidentally slipped into the mortal body of some fucking christian? Can’t I please convert to Buddhism!? Hinduism then?’
No can do, mate!
‘Fuck you!’
Epilogue
If you by any chance were enjoying the kind of bullshit that I just made up, you should probably go and talk to a true believer.
Though ‘talk’ in that case may be a bit of an overstatement. For, as a rule they don’t like to listen, you see. They are ‘programmed’ to merely grind out what they were being fed when they were kids.
Better, let them do all the talking; then the bullshit really hits the fan. You’ll see.
But, once again, I simply can’t seem to get my mind around, why we should worry about the fate of some … uh, parasite(?) that penetrated … uh, invaded our body at a very tender age. I mean, it’s as if at some point in life we cease to be ourselves, and turn into that immortal … thingy that we were infected with at the beginning of our lives. Now, where is the sense in that? What is the logic? Or is that line of behavior simply rooted in our innate fear of … death?
Finally, I want to apologize for the poor choice of words of the soul in today’s post – that ain’t soul, man, that’s only Rock ‘n’ Roll (and I like it, like it, yes I do)!
Ik woe die ‘n complimint maitsje mey dyn Ingelsk, Jaap.
Ik kin dyn wörk & uplieding nèt. Duutsk, Portegies kinst.
Inkeld by ‘t begjin: hereafter wurdt woll oan’noar skreon.
Mar kin ‘n streekje havve, en forall nijfoàrm here-before.
Here-fore. Bygones, themselves, bullshit, motherfucker
sioghst meast èk oan-‘n-oar, mar hjir yiéldt ‘t sellde foàr.
‘n Mottefokker if fonsells bargeboer mei bear en sûgen.
‘n Modderfiguer slachst by ‘n flater. ‘n Duutske Komiker
foen Turkepresidint Erdohan ‘n geitefokker. T. fon Gogh
foen Turken en Marocs wienen dât en hi oerlibbe it nèt.
Apologizes en acolytes (misfeintsje) binne fon Grieken.
Okay 3-rais èk. Pan-acee, farmacy, warmoes, wjirmcrût.
The fäte of some pärasite thät pèneträted, inväded our
body ät ä very tender äge. Duudlikens if fereaske hjirre.
Para-sitos ig Gr. meyiter. Embryo of foetus is parasitair.
Hjir bedoelst iindoctrinaasje, liowe, oertsjoeging, bield!
‘n Boner if flater, of ‘blokker’, uutslover, iin alinéa 3 en 5.
every boner used for procreätion, wästed a good boner.
Spermatozoide – think. Of boon (compänion), a goner?
Alinéa foàr Gr. Epilogue: Cut me some släck, izer-slak?
Gimmi a break. Gimmi shelter, Stones – Yow mie skoft!
Bliksem, Bauke! Dêr hie ik net op rekkene, fan dij in komplimint te krijen – dat komt op ‘e skoarstienmantel. Njonken dat oare, fan Arthur Godfrey, in learaar út Scarborough, dy’t hjir in soad mei syn boat kaam doe’t er noch goed sûn wie. Dy sei in kear: Dyn sprutsen en skreaune Ingelsk is better as dat fan mannich kollega fan my. Moai, net. Ik haw doe in bytsje skruten andere dat it nei alle tinken kaam troch’t myn memmetaal besibbe is oan sinent.
Mar ast my freegje soest yn hokke taal ik de measte boeken lêzen haw, dan soe ik Frânsk sizze moatte. Altyd wat in alpha-mantsje west, ju, op skoalle al. Mar ja, men hat der net in kloaten oan, oan al dy talen.
It iennichste dat men der mei kin, is argewaasje oproppe, by sokke nearzige lju as Jangerben. Ik mei him graach in bytsje nitelje, sjuch.
Hin?
Ja, ik wit it: Net leaf fan Jaap! It is wakker begrutlik fansels, sa’n gefoel fan minderweardigens at dy man hat. En sa kidelhoarnich as in bolle, no! De grutste grap is, hy hat my noch hieltyd net blokkearre …
O, hie ik dy dat al ferteld? Okkerdeis frege er: Wêrom bin ik gjin tel?
Om’tst eltsenien blokkearre hast, andere ik.
Wat sei dy sûch? Ik haw inkeld Dauwe blokkearre!
Hahaha! Moai, net.
It sil my benije wat der no yn dat âlddoarpsk brein fan him omgiet. Neat posityfs, dat stiet net yn bestân.
In boner? In stive, ju! De parasyt? De ûnstjerlike siel fansels, dy’t him, is de hjitting, yn ús ynderlik nei wenjen set hat … at a tender age (útsein Jangerben fansels; dy brekfal is ûnwenber ferklearre 😉 ).
Tjonge Jaap no bist it paad alwer bjuster, do wittest tink net mear op wat foar webside do bist.As moat dit in show wêze dasto ek wol mei it Ingels út de fuotten kinst ?
Scarborough Fair if ferske fon fiiftigh yier li’en.
Frânsk id dyn fólgjend stick. Baiser sur scène.
Blockearre, ûnbewenber forclearre Lea, Brain.
‘n Stiven âs ‘n bonke. ‘n Siele ig gjin mei-iter?
‘n Greote liitse mân en siele binne kreakers?
JG, gjin cloaten, kidelhorny, nearzigh, nitelje,
Juh mei h, joh, joch. Ôld-doàrpske breckfall.
‘Baiser’ bringt my it ferhaal fan in net-ûntsjeppe âld-kollega fan my yn ‘t sin …
Hja koe gjin sliepen betinke, doe’t se ris yn in Frânsk hotel fernachte. It kessen wie har net nei ‘t sin. Hja socht ‘kussen’ op yn har wurdboekje, kontsjedraaide yn har seksy neglizjee by de treppens del en stie by de wakker ferheard opsjende nachtwacht oan op: Baiser, baiser!
Moai, net!?
Giisbert Japix kriege om 1650 besite iin Boàlsert fon Frânciscus Junius uut Ingellawn.
What yowt the throagh-slagh by all my’n blockeärrings, de stavering of forbetteringen?
Dat wurdt wat in lang ferhaal, tink. Sil ik dat ris in stikje tawije?