Dear friend,

I saw your mates on the news last night, hammering away into “those lefties” and into the London police. Your mates were all in hoods of course. I watched closely to see if I could make out your tattoos among them. But, hey, there were too many 😉

What´s that? You´re not an extreme right winger? Is that by any chance as in “I´m not a racist, but…”? Because you are definitely a racist, judging by the jokes you have been sending me in the past few weeks. And if you feel entitled to suggest that people of colour are all criminals, I feel entitled to plainly state that you are an extreme right winger who´s suffering from Arian supremacist mania.

Don´t get me wrong, I do love the jokes you used to send me about Irishmen. In Frisia we tell the same jokes. Not about Irishmen of course, but about Hollanders and Germans. That doesn´t mean we feel superior to them; it is more our way of fending off some of their apparent superiority feelings towards Frisians.
I suppose that the English do not feel superior to the Irish either. Although I am not entirely certain about that anymore. Sometimes the feeling´s creeping up on me that the English feel superior to anybody, hahahaha 🙂

What´s that? Not funny? I´m so sorry! One of your countrymen told me once that anything one can laugh about, is funny. Then again, the same guy told me that the only difference between a German bloke and an Englishman is, that one of them “iz wearing ze better uniform”.
Hmm, perhaps you´re right – that may not be so funny after all.

Anyway, your jokes about people of a skin colour or a religion that is different from yours, do not make me laugh. In fact, you are insulting me, my family, and my friends – you know that?
So, stop it now, please!
I´d hate to lose you as a friend – you´ve been a good pal – but if you cannot see the difference between a good-natured joke and hurtful religious or racial hatred, we´d better call it quits.

Or, to put it in your terms, “Go back to England!”

Kind regards,