Beast of Bourdain

Believe you me, I know what it is to lose all hope – I’ve got the T-shirt. And I know that most people are not inclined to reach out and lend a helping hand when you are drowning in deep shit. But… suicide?
I mean, Trump’s not going to be president forever! Or is he going to pull a Xi Jinping? [He’ll sooner pull a muscle.]

But seriously, why?
Have they suddenly gone and call an overdose suicide? I could understand that. Yet, when they still called it an OD, it had such a pleasant accidental ring to it: ‘Okay, it is a loss, but he/she knew the risks. Shit happens!’
However, suicide is hardly an accident, is it? Call me Mr Meticulous, but with me the word suicide creates a more grim and sombre atmosphere of purposefulness than overdose does.

I wanted to get to the bottom of this: what is it that I do not understand here? So I called CNN.
They immediately told me: ‘More than half of the people that kill themselves have no psychological problems whatsoever.’
Gee, thanks, Wolf, that really helps. Okay, what you are saying is: there’s no depression involved then, or anything like that.
‘Exactly.’
Well, what the hell are you actually saying, then!?
‘Over the last 17 years the suicide rate has gone up by 25% – in rural areas by more than 30%.’
You never cease to amaze me. And what exactly does that mean?
‘That in rural areas people are more prone to suicide.’
Well, I’m glad we have cleared that up.
One more question, if I may: I’ve never seen a more rural country than Wyoming. How come the suicide rate over there is less than 1%?
‘Well, maybe they’ve all killed themselves.’
Thanks for your help, Wolf. You can really rely on CNN to leave you none the wiser.
‘Don’t mention it.’
Believe you me, I will!

So, why?
What was your chimera, Tony? What was the beast of Bourdain?

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